Let the Games Begin!

surprisingly adept snowshoer

I feel like we've been making a lot of progress in our house these days.  With the winter break and holidays and colds and snow everywhere, we've spent a lot of quality indoor time together.  The cat and dog have even come to an uneasy truce.

The best news is that Ben has finally come around to playing board games with me.

I've always felt that games are hugely important for kids and grown-ups both.  Not only are they fun, they provide a structure for social interaction, mental challenge, creativity, healthy competition, gracious winning and losing, building innate understanding of probability and math, and probably a dozen things that aren't coming to mind.

Ben's brother played his first decent game (Busy Bridges) around age 3.  We built an oversize version of Monza that fit his Hot Wheels cars.  We tried lots of different games for the next few years, like Fearsome Floors and Labyrinth.  We even recreated the D-Day invasion.

Boardgames had to be put away as soon as Ben got mobile.  The joyful chaos of flipping the board over was too much for him to resist.  Game pieces were to be strewn about and boards were to be ripped.  If he wasn't devastating our game, he would be wreaking havoc elsewhere, making it very hard to focus for any length of time.

Now, though, we've got at least two games he likes:  Sequence for Kids and Snail's Pace Race.  Sequence is particularly great - we take turns, flip over the next card ("I got an elephant!"), pick out the correct color token, and find the animal on the board.  There's a teeny bit of strategy, but we'll worry about that later.

There's still some joyful chaos - we've misplaced half the dice for Snail's Pace Race (which makes it really slow) and we have to keep duct tape handy.

It's worth it though -- hearing Ben say, "I'm a winner!" made my heart grow three sizes that day.

Happy gas

So, the day after Thanksgiving, I lost a crown.  Of course, the dentist office was closed and I had to wait until the following Tuesday to get a temporary put in.

I can put up with a lot of pain in some ways, but not so much when it comes to the dentist.  I always ask for nitrous oxide.  It has an anti-anxiety effect and it lets me feel dissociated with what's happening in my mouth.

As I laid there in the chair, with my jaw completely numb, unable to speak as the dentist chatted with his assistant and ground away at the stump of my tooth, it occurred to me that this might be the way Ben feels some times.  The dentist would occasionally use some jargon with his co-worker that made absolutely no sense to me.  I was pretty uncomfortable, trying to keep from gagging, and I'm pretty sure my tongue was wriggling around in my mouth like half an earthworm.  Also, I had a strong urge to bite the bejesus out of somebody.

Yesterday, I got the finished crown put in (and got some small cavities filled).  Again with the nitrous...I had lots of deep thoughts about Ben and his "trajectory". 

Got him to wear a hat!

Recently, Ben had his own dental work done.  Up until last year, it was extremely difficult to brush his teeth.  We'd do it, but it was like washing a cat, or maybe trying to brush a cat's teeth while it was on fire.   This would also be happening at the end of the day where we're all pretty exhausted (Ben has sleep issues).  Between treats used as reinforcers at school and the bribes he get at various points in the day, it was leading to a bad situation in his mouth.

I found a dentist who works with special needs kids and although he could only get a quick look in Ben's mouth, he could tell there was work to be done.  There was really no way to do it without sedation.  Fortunately, on the first Thursday of every month, he works with an anesthesiologist at the hospital to do special needs dental work.  After one rescheduling (croup!), Ben got his teeth fixed...and sealed.  There were no problems other than a middle-of-the-night wakening (tube down nose -> irritated esophagus), but it was kind of a multi-day event.

I read somewhere that kids with sensory integration issues experience things differently than we do, such as walking barefoot on carpet could feel as bad as walking on broken glass or the opposite, that everything is kind of muted.  I understand why he has to be knocked out for dental work, and I can totally empathize with the desire to bite.  Hmm, maybe this was a deeper thought when I was on happy gas.

Special note:  Yes, Mom, I will take better care of my teeth, and my kids' teeth.  There is no need to send dental hygiene supplies.

Adventure Time

this is more fun than it looks

I was reminiscing the other day about our life pre-autism.  It was 6 years ago in August that I took Ben's brother and our dog on a nine day rafting trip with another family.  It was one of the best trips of my life.  We had a blast.  I remember feeling that he was finally mature enough to have real adventures, and that we had a future of camping and hiking and climbing ahead of us with lots of father/son bonding in the outdoors.  In my vision of the future, I would teach him to rock climb and other awesome things.

Bubba chillin' at the campsite

There was at least one very tense time on that trip.  Bubba was on the other family's raft with his friend (L) and her father (G).  I was on my raft with her mother (M).  They stopped for a potty break and were 10 minutes or so behind us when a heavy squall hit.  Wind was roaring down the canyon and rain blasting sideways.  Thunder and lightning were crashing all around.  It was Old Testament for a while.  M and I grew more nervous as the other raft failed to show up.

Things let up a bit and along they came, everyone warmly dressed and huddled together with the dogs.  G maneuvered his raft with all the serenity of a Massachusetts lobsterman who's seen much worse (which he is).  Then we made hot cocoa.

Ben is now a year older than his brother was then.  I can't fathom the idea of a nine day raft trip with him.  He has a hard time sleeping in ideal conditions.  Camping, or even traveling, is an iffy proposition.  We still do it, but constant vigilance is required because he'll roam in a heartbeat. 

happy trouble

The good news is that he's a pretty happy kid, and he loves to be outside.  Yesterday, he was asking me to set up the slip and slide (it's way too cold already).  A few minutes ago, a big front blew through and scattered leaves across our yard.  He came in gleefully yelling "LEAVES!" to share it with me (sorry, no pics).

I spent some time observing Ben's classroom this morning.  I can't go into it here...there are privacy issues, but I will say that we are very lucky to have a great school with great teachers and he seems to be doing really well there.

Maybe some day we'll go camping and be able to relax.  I'm looking forward to it.  Ben's not quite big enough yet, but we're going to check out this program ASAP.

a not-very-relaxed dog

As a side note, the parents at Ben's school have started talking about fund-raising again.  The Amazon link at the bottom of this blog is still active with an associate account linked to the school.  If you use it to get to Amazon, a portion (5%?) of any purchases during that browser session will go directly to the school as a donation (none for me).  It doesn't increase your price at all, so why not?




Also, if you live in Utah, Smith's grocery donates to schools based on how much people buy with their "Fresh Values" program.   If you don't have kids of your own and would like to help out, you can ask the cashier to link your card to Carmen B. Pingree School.  Easy!  Doesn't cost you a thing!  Hey, while you're at it, ask your friends, co-workers, and extended family to do it too.  It's not just a school, they do research and train people to do therapy.  We need more o' that.