Monday, November 21, 2011


My wife and older son are off at a cabin right now, hanging out with another mom and her two kids.  Ben and I have been on our own since about noon yesterday.  We spend a lot of time alone together.  My wife's job requires her to go on occasional trips and frequently work on weekends.  Even so, I can barely imagine what it's like to be a single parent of an autistic kid or kids (like this lady).

When we were first researching what the autism diagnosis meant, I came across a statistic saying that 80% of couples with an autistic kid get divorced.  That sent a chill down my spine.  Put that together with my wife being an attorney, a female attorney, and me having been married before, and our odds of remaining married are pretty dang low.

It doesn't feel that way though.  I fell in love with my wife about 17 years ago.  I keep finding more reasons to love and respect her.   Raising an autistic kid does add stress, but it's also shown me facets of my wife that I might never have seen otherwise, and I love her all the more.

Oh, apparently that 80% number is bunk.

Anyway, my hat's off to those of you going it alone.  Hang in there, kitty.

Tip o the day:

Have a date night.  Heck, go stay in a hotel.  We had trouble finding sitters who could handle Ben until I came across Sitter City.  It's a matchmaking service that hooks parents up with sitters (or nannies).  You can describe what your needs are (there's even a check box for special needs).  We had something like 20 applications in the first day.  There was a lot of chaff in there, but we've found 3 wonderful sitters with special needs training who are awesome.

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